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03 September 2010 @ 02:13 pm
I learned a profound lesson today  
I watched Legion yesterday and, well, the whole movie seemed to center around the notion that if humanity won't stop with the killing and the raping and the terrorizing, Paul Bettany will be forced to make out with his brother.

I kid you not.

The plot of this movie is relatively simple: God is fed up with mankind and wants them to stfu once and for all. So he sends all his angels to kill them off, especially this one unborn baby that WILL CHANGE THE WORLD AND SAVE HUMANITY! The archangel Michael (played by Paul Bettany, sporting a spray-tan) refuses, because Oh, people will learn and grow! and stuff. So shit goes down and there's a big confrontation between Michael and Gabriel (played by some guy looking like a bondage slave. But this, as it later turns out, is how all angels look). Before the fighting starts, there's some time for them to stare soulfully into each other's eyes, caress each other's face (no, really) and generally look like they're about to rip each other's clothes off. Which they proceed to do. With a mace.

Anyway, the film did raise some questions, mainly
  • Why, Paul Bettany? Why?
  •  How did they get him to bulk up like that? Some guys just don't put on lots of muscle mass at all, no matter how much they exercise, and he struck me as one of them. So either months of gruesome working-out-to-death or friendly Uncle Photoshop helped out - the one and only time you see him shirtless is in the first five minutes of the movie and that's just a short little scene.

In conclusion: Paul Bettany, bless him, sticks to the rule that he MUST BE NAKED in his first scene in a movie. Of course, he's a brilliant actor, blah, blah blah, but even he can't save this pile of angel pooh. So, yes. Naked.
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